A letter to the precious girl who hates her body

Young or old, short or tall, no matter the shape or size; you live in a broken world shouting on repeat that you will never be enough. Worth and beauty in this place are based on an ever-moving target, subjective standards, shaky ground. Ever since you were old enough to listen, perfectionist diet culture has nurtured within you a secret monster called the “inner critic.” It creeps up so quietly, yet so convincingly tells you that you will only be free and satisfied when your body changes. Just be more disciplined. If only you looked like that popular friend of yours or the celebrity in your TikTok feed, then you would be happy. 

Lies are loud. Lies are deceiving. Lies are bullies. Lies are bondage.

What if I told you that your worth has nothing to do with the body that you live in? That you are incredibly precious and nothing you do or don’t do can change your value? That there is only one YOU in this world and that you are called to embrace every part of who you’ve been created to be? Your mind may have learned some unhelpful beliefs about what your body is and who you are as you’ve walked through this life, but let’s take some time to hold those thoughts up to what is true. Because truth? It’s what is real. It’s what is free. It’s what lasts forever. Both you--and your body--were fearfully and wonderfully made. Your true beauty is found within. 

Did you know that your body is not you? It is a temple—a home—that houses something deeper. Your soul, with its personality, its gifts, its character—that is the real you. Your body is an “earth suit”—the vehicle through which you get to experience this world and express who you are on the inside to the people around you. It’s an incredibly sacred gift meant to be nurtured and cared for. It’s meant to enjoy all foods for the physical nourishment and enjoyment they provide. It’s meant to move with joy and rest with intention, enjoying the life it carries within it. But it was never meant to be made an ultimate thing. 

True life goes deeper than what we can see and touch. When we try to turn a tangible, finite thing into an ultimate thing, it will always fail us. No matter how well we take care of our body, it will still change, it will still get sick, and sometimes, it will even break. What it needs from us is an unconditional sense of teamwork and care as it attempts to take us through all the ups and downs of our days. 

So, is it possible to break free from the lies that claim our appearance dictates our worth and our body isn’t enough? Is it possible to push back on pessimism with deep gratitude for how our bodies show up for us each day? Is it possible to commit ourselves to holding the insatiable critic up against the bright light of Truth so these ugly lies can be exposed and challenged? Cultivating a nurturing attitude starts with how we talk to and about our bodies. No one talks to us as much as we do. Freedom is there. I promise you. If you don’t believe me, won’t you take a few steps into this unfamiliar space and see what happens? 

Comfort zones might feel cozy, but comfort zones quickly drive us to be stagnant. Sometimes stillness is necessary rest, but we have to watch out for stillness caused by captivity. What if the inner critic has convinced us that a slimy, dark pit separating us from the beauty of life is actually our comfort zone and our safe place? Could you be the little ground hog who never felt confident enough to leave his familiar hole, only to miss out on a bright sunny world of joy and freedom? Dip your toe into the great unknown and look for opportunities to embrace change—change means you’re growing, and growing means you’re alive. 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared beforehand for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Sprit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

“Your beauty should not be external—having to do with elaborate hairstyles, gold jewelry, or fine clothes—but rather internal, the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

This letter was written over many tears as I mourn the ongoing hold darkness has on those who battle body dysmorphia. In a perfectionist and aesthetics-saturated world, it impacts every single one of us in different ways. It is a complex struggle that the devil loves to use to crush our self-worth and in some cases even enable us to tear others down (intentionally or unintentionally). In my work as a dietitian, there have been many opportunities to come alongside hurting people and bear their burdens with them, affirming their need to hold space for their pain while building the strength to take steps toward freedom. It is these people’s willingness to reach out for support and be vulnerable that inspires the words of this letter. I pray those held in bondage to lies will be surrounded by the grace of their Creator who knows their secret heart and have their eyes opened to their all-surpassing worth so they may soar on wings like eagles, for their good and for His glory.